I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
