I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
