She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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