i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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