I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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