I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
