Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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