Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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