This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
