It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
