Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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