I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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