have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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