Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
