i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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