left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
