You're so nebulous sometimes
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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