She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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