My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
