Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize