they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
