whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
