and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
