Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
