i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She's the barista slut.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
