at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
