My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
