Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
