Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
