Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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