We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Holy sore nipples Batman
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My dad is sitting where you rode me
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
