What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
