I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
