He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
