is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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