Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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