I bet he comes in French.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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