How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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