i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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