im six kinds of drunk right now
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
