okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
