you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
