I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
