This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i out mim tonsoeep
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