Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
