i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
