i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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