remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
