the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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