His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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