I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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