I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Farmville is her only friend.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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