a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
