She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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