I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
