I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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