There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
