he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
