You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
