party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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