my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
