All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
