so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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