when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
