But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
