That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
