i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize