I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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