i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
