oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
